What Do You Like About Yourself

Today's post over at Cup of Jo (again!), was about knowing what you like about yourself. At first I just wanted to make a comment but that post already had 290 comments and knowing that it will be a lengthy one, I decided to write a post about it.

Growing up, my parents were both disciplinarian and I struggled trying to break free. My father rarely scolded me but he expected me to obey and when I didn't I'd surely get the eye and the words. My mother was stricter. Everyday we're always arguing. She didn't want me to leave the house and I always have to help with the household chores while my two brothers were having the time of their lives. I despised it. I felt that it was very unfair. But as they say, our way of thinking, making decisions and how we live our lives are the results of our childhood, adult experiences and our own observations.

With how I was raised, I learned to be independent. I don't go to my parents to seek advise.  I am my own critic. When I am facing a problem, I analyze everything, picture every scenario and then make the decision. When my mother visits and say something. I'll explain but that's it.

And that is something that I like about myself. I am hardly bothered by other people's opinions. Most of the time I don't even care. For me, for as long as I am not hurting anybody with my actions, I can go ahead and do my own thing. I am not easily swayed. In highschool, I made a promise to myself that I will not get married until I am 27. I want to experience single life, travel, hang out and have fun. So while my friends were getting married and giving birth my now husband and I traveled to Palawan and Bohol. I went to visit Cebu with my bestfriend and traveled to Ilocos with my brothers. Never in my entire life that I will regret that decision. Looking back, I am missing those years but am happy that I missed it because I get to experience it and not missed it for not doing it. 

Before we got married, I talked to my husband if we can postpone having a baby for 6 months. He agreed. Despite the judgement and the assumptions that we couldn't get pregnant, we went ahead with our plan. For months, we're living the newly married couple life. We had no one but ourselves to think of. We still got to hang out and traveled with friends. On the third month, I imagined myself holding a baby in my arms and I knew I was ready. We both agreed. Two months later, I was pregnant. 

Both my mother and my mother-in-law are pushing for us to be pregnant again. They have a lot of reason for it but I'm not ready. I need to feel it just as I felt it with our first born. And unless we both wanted it, whatever they say won't change my mind.