Marley and Me

I was pregnant when I watched Marley and Me. I totally had no idea about the movie nor heard of it before. I was just passing the time while waiting for my husband to come home from work. I was crying when he arrived.

Five years later I came across the book while buying children's books for my son. Every night after reading all of my son's 7 books (he insists!) I read 5 pages of it or so before surrendering to sleep. I haven't reached the 100th page yet but I am enjoying it. It makes me laugh and leave me wanting to own a dog.

We had a dog while growing up, too many in fact to count. They're not of pure breed. They're lineage of course could be traced from a stray dog of which puppies were given to neighbors. I had one that was brought by my grandmother all the way from Biliran. Another was a favored one, hairy, small and gray. My father bought the dog shampoo and the rest was up to me. It took the meat my father was supposed to cook and I ended up looking for the dog everywhere. It came home full and satisfied.

I have thought many times of owning a dog again. We did it back in April but had to return the dog after a few days. Financially I wasn't ready. Our money was alloted for the house and it's imperative that the dog be administered with the anti-rabies first or  I'll never find peace again.

Who knows maybe next year I'll find the right one and fall in love.

Christmas Is Here

We have a long Christmas season. It starts on the first day of September and continue until the first week of January. If I'll keep the car windows down on my way to work, I'll hear Christmas songs being played from houses, jeepneys, buses and malls. And we don't even keep the volume low. We really announce it to everyone.

For years our family had rented an apartment. For our first Christmas together my husband and I bought a small tabletop Christmas tree. Over the years, it had changed places to the top of the TV and above the bookshelf. This year, we have finally decided to set up a Christmas tree and decorate our own house  for Christmas. I was so excited. I bought the tree early and then last Sunday with the help of my cousin I went to Divisoria and bought the accessories. Everyone helped with the decorating. During the process I kept on hearing my son say "That's amazing!". Wasn't it. They used to be dreams but slowly our dreams are coming true, from the house to the Christmas tree and hopefully we can travel next year.

What's Your Shopping Attitude?

Despite the onset of online shopping here, I have never tried it for clothes. Since different brands have different sizes I am not confident that the clothes delivered at my doorstep will fit me. I'd visit the websites, take screenshots and look for them at the mall.

We have a very convenient place. We are close to almost anything, including SM Supermalls. I went to SM Molino a few weeks ago, showed the photo to the salesman and with much enthusiasm he told me "Oh yes! Someone came here this morning and bought that too."

I came home empty handed. 

Silent Nights

Ever since I left home for work, I have never stayed in my hometown nor be with my parents for longer than a week. My mother always fly here but my father, not a fan of city life, prefers to stay behind.

Lately though, they come here often and stay with us. Sad as it may seem but my father's sickness is the reason why for days my son wakes up to see his grandfather in our home and at bedtime he visits first his grandparents' room before proceeding to ours. If there's someone who likes our current set up, it's my son. Just this morning before we left, my mother said her goodbye and my son told her to come back. 

After dinner my father and I stay outside and talk. While he sips Sustagen, I drink my coffee. It's quiet outside and sometimes cold. I tell my father some things that my mother prefers not to talk about and he tells me things that he often observes. My father has never denied me of his support. He's a quiet man, cool and very generous.

I look back at my childhood and the man I know to be strict, but generous; my adolescent years and the man who bought me my very personal things every month with no fail; one weekend when I was in pain and didn't know what to do and the man who checked up on me and went to the drugstore to get my medicine; and once in college when I went home to see a motorcycle in our driveway. My father taught me a lesson that day. I was very persistent that he teach me how to drive the bike, despite his hesitation and my mother's too, he drove me to a street going to the farm with less traffic.He taught me the basic and let me drive. I didn't get past first gear. The thing was heavy and  my fear got the better of me. My father's friend saw what I was doing and asked him about it. He said, "She's very persistent. It's better for her to know personally how hard it is than to just tell her that or she won't stop." That day, I learned from experience.

Do You Still Print Pictures?

I'm a sucker for saved memories. While everyone is taking photos, saving them in their phones or other digital ways and posting them online, twice a year I sort them all and take a trip to Quiapo to have them printed and put them in an album. Our center table used to house 6 albums but now that we have the media table, the transfer was done. 

My son and I have developed a ritual. Before I place the newly printed photos, we first take a look at all the albums just to reminisce. Sometimes I tell him the story behind a photo when he was still a toddler and couldn't recall any of it. He's still young but I want him to know that he's loved. His father may be away at times but it never stops him from showing his love.

It's almost November. My parents will be here this evening. We have an appointment for Saturday then we'll visit my grandparents' graves on Sunday and if time will permit I'd like to see the Legaspi Sunday Market. I have been reading good reviews and I'm curious. I have no budget for any purchase but I'll take a look and then come back if I see something I like.

What Happened?

I am currently reading The Girl on the Train and there's something that's bothering me. His ex-husband cheated on him, divorced her and married the other woman, and yet the ex and the current wife act as if they haven't done anything wrong. I'm wondering when did it ever become ok for people like them to act that way.

Reading further,I'm actually getting angrier. Is it because people are getting more open minded, influenced by social media, the onset of technology and cultural influences that they are becoming more acceptable? More marriages and relationships are being destroyed , yet once discovered instead of being ashamed cheaters become aggressive and blatantly show off their indiscretion.

I don't know how to end this post. But I'll get back to reading now.

Today and the Last Two Nights

For two nights I had been struggling in putting our son to sleep. Just when I thought he's already sleeping I'll wake up and find him playing with something. It could be his book, a coin he found in my bag, his toy or my clip. I talked him about it yesterday when I got home and explained that what he'd done was not doing us any good. I thought we'd reached an agreement, it turned out he just opted to be quiet. Last night was harder. He wouldn't stop crying. And I was desperate. I was already sleepy to begin with, I'm suffering from a headache for lack of sleep and my body was in pain. I begged him to stop and I did everything to make him sleep. I cuddled him, sang a song, read a book, talked to him and a lot more things. It took a long while before he finally sleep. I was exhausted. 

This afternoon, he's going to a trick or treat party. Already I know he wouldn't be able to sleep after his lunch. I just hope that tonight will be a different story. I don't want a repeat. 

Tomorrow, I'm going to pick my parents from the airport. I am already predicting for their flight to be delayed as it's the story of our airport nowadays. I'll leave early from work. My boss had given me his permission. 

It's a slow day today. I keep on fidgeting. I have so much time in my hands I don't know what to do with it. I have taken a personality test, watched volleyball online, read a book, read another blog and played a game. But these things did not make up my entire day. I still have more time left. Tonight I am planning to take a walk with my son. This may result to less tantrum and a happy mood.

A Mother, A Wife

I made a very crucial mistake a few nights ago. My husband and I were going over our holiday plans and I have been adamant about giving our son an advance birthday celebration with his classmates. He wants it celebrated in school. I want it at home. He has his reasons and I have mine. But the date that I chose fell on our date day. You see, I forgot that part, besides being a mother I'm also a wife. After that realization I made effort to reach out and show my love to my husband. Despite being a morning person I really try to be still awake until 10 in the evening so we can talk and not crave in to the calling of the bed.

Whoever says marriage is easy is living in a perfect world. Marriage takes effort, trust and love. I am grateful that my husband is understanding. There had been times when we'd argue but the distance helps. Instead of fighting during the little time we have, we'd rather sort our differences and make up. It helps too when you have a son who cares. He doesn't know it yet, but he's the reason why sometimes we'll just end up laughing instead of letting anger take over us.

What Do You Like About Yourself

Today's post over at Cup of Jo (again!), was about knowing what you like about yourself. At first I just wanted to make a comment but that post already had 290 comments and knowing that it will be a lengthy one, I decided to write a post about it.

Growing up, my parents were both disciplinarian and I struggled trying to break free. My father rarely scolded me but he expected me to obey and when I didn't I'd surely get the eye and the words. My mother was stricter. Everyday we're always arguing. She didn't want me to leave the house and I always have to help with the household chores while my two brothers were having the time of their lives. I despised it. I felt that it was very unfair. But as they say, our way of thinking, making decisions and how we live our lives are the results of our childhood, adult experiences and our own observations.

With how I was raised, I learned to be independent. I don't go to my parents to seek advise.  I am my own critic. When I am facing a problem, I analyze everything, picture every scenario and then make the decision. When my mother visits and say something. I'll explain but that's it.

And that is something that I like about myself. I am hardly bothered by other people's opinions. Most of the time I don't even care. For me, for as long as I am not hurting anybody with my actions, I can go ahead and do my own thing. I am not easily swayed. In highschool, I made a promise to myself that I will not get married until I am 27. I want to experience single life, travel, hang out and have fun. So while my friends were getting married and giving birth my now husband and I traveled to Palawan and Bohol. I went to visit Cebu with my bestfriend and traveled to Ilocos with my brothers. Never in my entire life that I will regret that decision. Looking back, I am missing those years but am happy that I missed it because I get to experience it and not missed it for not doing it. 

Before we got married, I talked to my husband if we can postpone having a baby for 6 months. He agreed. Despite the judgement and the assumptions that we couldn't get pregnant, we went ahead with our plan. For months, we're living the newly married couple life. We had no one but ourselves to think of. We still got to hang out and traveled with friends. On the third month, I imagined myself holding a baby in my arms and I knew I was ready. We both agreed. Two months later, I was pregnant. 

Both my mother and my mother-in-law are pushing for us to be pregnant again. They have a lot of reason for it but I'm not ready. I need to feel it just as I felt it with our first born. And unless we both wanted it, whatever they say won't change my mind.

Long Way Home

My car stalled last Monday. And despite the hassle, I was still grateful that it happened while we're already in MCX and I was in the slow lane. We waited for an hour for the rescue and then went to Evia for dinner.

With no car, I was forced to take jeepneys for work. At first it was daunting, but I realized that I am actually enjoying this. As opposed to me saying my goodbye and kissing him while he's asleep, this morning my son accompanied me to the terminal. He rode his bike, kissed me goodbye and turned around. I was able to sleep while traveling and bought breakfast along the road. But going home was a different story. It took longer and more rides. But the mechanic said I can take home the car today so no more of that. Yay!

Floor Time

I am a bookworm and I play Candy Crush. Yes, I have the Ebook and Candy Crush apps installed in my phone. I read while I watched my son do whatever kids of his age do. I thought this was harmless. Well, I thought wrong. 

At night when I get home, my son is always excited to greet, kiss and hug me. And then we'll finish dinner and this is when he starts getting fussy and irritable. Meanwhile I'll start getting frustrated and angry. Not an hour later and we'll be locking horns. For a long time, I was puzzled. I really didn't know what was wrong. But then I read something over Cup of Jo regarding floor time with the kids. So I abandoned the phone and played with my son on the floor. The type of game is not important, what matters is that I am playing with my son and paying attention. And guess what? It solved the problem! And not only do I do this every night, but on weekends I take my son to the nearby playground, have lunch at his favorite fastfood joint, run errands and put him to sleep. On Sundays, we go to church and play some more.

Yes, I still read and play but only when he's asleep or watching Cartoon Network.

When Was Your Last Vacation?

Mine was last year. My husband and I stayed in Siquijor and Dumaguete. In just one day, we'd already explored Siquijor and we still had two more days to spend. We went back to Dumaguete and spent the days eating. I really love Dumaguete. The food is diverse and even though it's a city, it's still ladback . A quick visit to Siliman University made me want to send my son there for college. I swear I was seriously considering it. It's an hour away by plane but that's far already. We'll be left at home while he's enjoying the island. I'll be really jealous. 

I read it somewhere that we Filipinos are the worst travelers. We consider the success of our vacation depending on how many tourist spots we'd seen to be proven by hundreds of photos. And then we go home more tired than before we left. I was guilty of this when I was still young. But after one child, I savored that vacation. Everyday we got to rest, just sit, eat, talk and just stare mindlessly anywhere. But truth be told, I missed my son. Next time, maybe we'll travel as a family.

Laundry List

I was driving to work this morning and my mind was just going elsewhere. Several thoughts  kept on popping and I couldn't seem to internally organize anything. That DIY project is still untouched. It's been raining for days and I couldn't do anything about it unless I varnish indoor which we all know is just a bad idea. Our altar needs to be moved upstairs and replaced with a wooden display. Both were not yet ready, I haven't even made my drawings and measurements. The garden needs to be tended, I see it every morning on my way out. I made a list of things to do tonight and hopefully I'd get to check one or two. 

My husband had a good news this morning, something to look forward to come December. Everyone is excited. It's something that will be good for all of us. I'm hoping the weather will be on our side too.

Media Table DIY

I wish I could say that I just really want to try my hand at doing something DIY.  But I'm just really out of budget. I spent the weekend and tonight filling, sanding and varnishing our media table.

A few months ago my husband wanted to buy a new TV but I declined and reasoned out that ours was still working. Then my father was discharged from the hospital and we moved the bed to the living room just in front of the TV.  They stayed for a week and hours after they left, the TV failed. We couldn't see nor hear anything. My husband won after all. He bought a new TV set but it was longer that our media table. So now I am left with the task of providing a new one, handmade. If the sun will be in my favor on Saturday, I'll be finished by then. 

You Are What You Watch

We were having lunch one day and the dining area was filled with different voices. Ten people were in a room who were divided into three groups. The conversation topic varies from basketball to traffic and to shopping. And then we're only talking about one, what channel do we mostly tune in to. Most answered ABS-CBN and those who answered GMA were teased. I said AXN and I realized I'm an action-movie kind of girl. 

I took a psychological test for my college entrance exam. One day I was in class and someone slipped me a piece of paper telling me to see the university psychologist. Along with a friend who'd been summoned too, we went down 2 fights of stairs. I was told that I have a masculine personality. 

As I go along with my life, that masculine vibe keeps on surfacing. I remember marathon watching the first 3 series of 24 with my brother during school break. And then later after we got married, I obtained copies of all the series and watched them again with my husband and got hooked. Since my work is nearer than his, I always arrived  before him but he reminded me not to watch it alone and wait for him. But the request fell on deaf ears. I'm on my 2nd episode when he knocked on the door.

My favorite movies so far are Tears of the Sun and Die Hard 4.0. I do love Replacements. It's not action packed but hey, it's Keannu Reeves. I've watched it about 10 times and I'll watch it 10 more. 

Life Isn't Always What Is Seems

I'm back here again. This time to tell you a little something. I just finished sorting all our documents, some went back to their respective envelopes but most went directly to the trash bin. We moved to our home last January of this year. I'm not a superstitious person but I do believe that something's always got to give. By God's will, we have acquired our house. From the outside, even my friends think so, that we have it all, that I have it all. Many people still think that there's a checklist of things for a person especially a woman to be considered as successful in life. I'm married, I have a son, a house that we own and a career. But in reality, life is not like that. We can't always have the best of both worlds. Ever since we moved, my son keeps on getting sick. They're not worse but they last for days and that always gets me worried. We have frequented the hospital more that we ever did when we we're still living in Paranaque. I'm am not complaining. I am still thankful. This is just one difficulty, more will come I'm sure but I will keep my faith and my feet on the ground. I will always count my blessings and have my head above water.

When My World Is Quiet

I attempted to write my very first post to this blog last night, when I was lying beside my singing and sometimes just talking son to give emphasis in the title. My world is not at all quiet. Day in and day out, it's filled with sounds of different variety. Even when my son is asleep, I can hear his little snores. Even when the house seems to be sleeping and calm I can hear the electric fan blades. 

But last night went by and the first sentence to that epic first post was already deleted. 

We went to see my father's doctor yesterday and had him treated. He's doing fine, the medicine didn't have any adverse effect at all. I pray that he'll continue to be tough. When I was still in college, I'm pretty sure that traveling from Cavite to Manila took only 1 hour but yesterday we spent 5 hours on the road. Traffic was at its worse.

I love seeing my father and my son play whatever game he sets his mind on. My son is a demanding little boy with no hint of shyness. Sometimes he is but I'm sure he's just pretending. Anyway, playing with him takes your energy but you'll be filled with that light feeling that comes with happiness. He's active and curious, sometimes it's just tiring to answer his endless questions and I don't even know the answer to some. This morning before I left for work, I asked him to sit beside my father for a photo. He refused to oblige but did several things instead. I gave up and that's when he sat and hugged his grandfather.